


apartment 278

by pandizzy



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, texting au, this is just texts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 21:45:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandizzy/pseuds/pandizzy
Summary: A war is declared on apartment 278.





	apartment 278

_Gendry Waters_  to  _roomies:_  we’re out of milk

_Theon Greyjoy_ : oh damn

_Jon Snow:_  we wouldn’t be if SOMEONE wasn’t addicted to cereal

_Robb Stark:_ wow stop exposing me

_Sansa Stark:_  whose turn is it to buy?

_Jon Snow:_  gendry’s

_Gendry Waters:_  fuck no i went to buy more toilet paper last week. it’s your turn jon

_Jon Snow:_  …

_Jon Snow:_  it might be mine

_Theon Greyjoy:_  no shit sherlock

* * *

_Robb Stark_ to  _Theon Greyjoy_ : theon i swear to the gods

_Robb Stark:_  mrs mordane just did that thing

_Theon Greyjoy_ : not this again

_Theon Grejoy_ : mrs mordane is a mean old lady who is NOT flirting with you

_Robb Stark:_  she is!

_Robb Stark_ : today, when i went to help her with her groceries, she called me handsome and winked

_Robb Stark:_  SHE FUCKING WINKED

_Theon Greyjoy_ : im not drunk enough for this

* * *

_Sansa Stark changed this group’s name_ from _roomies_  to  _days until rent: 7_

* * *

_Theon Greyjoy_  to  _Sansa Stark_ : waht did you do?

_Theon Greyjoy_ : what*

_Sansa Stark:_  please tell me what you think i did

_Theon Greyjoy:_  you moved all of the bathrooms stuff around

_Theon Greyjoy:_  i cant find anything

_Theon Greyjoy_ : and theres this awful feminine smell lingering around

_Sansa Stark_ : i organized the bathroom!

_Sansa Stark:_  and that smell is english lavender which I FIND PLEASING

_Theon Greyjoy:_  this is a declaration of war

* * *

_Robb Stark_  to  _Gendry Waters:_ the toaster is broken

_Gendry Waters:_  why are you telling me this?

_Robb Stark_ : you fix stuff for a living

_Gendry Waters:_  gods

_Gendry Waters:_  im a mechanic

_Gendry Waters:_  I FIX CARS

* * *

_Theon Greyjoy_ to _Jon Snow:_  why the fuck

_Theon Greyjoy:_  i hate you

_Theon Greyjoy:_  traitor

_Jon Snow:_ context pls

_Theon Greyjoy_ : ever since your girlfriend move in with us

_Theon Greyjoy:_ she has been spreading her grasp around the apartment and taking over everything

_Jon Snow:_ sansa has been living with us for four months

_Jon Snow:_ why are you only talking about this with me now?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  this is a war, snow

_Theon Greyjoy:_  pick a side

_Jon Snow:_ lemme see

_Jon Snow:_  woman who doesn’t judge my weird kink and is into it vs man who closed his door when i puked in the corridor

_Theon Greyjoy:_ I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO PUKE IN MY BEDROOM

_Jon Snow:_  it’s not a hard decision, theon

_Theon Greyjoy_ : i will remember this

* * *

_Sansa Stark_  to _Robb Stark_ : robb

_Sansa Stark:_ robbie

_Sansa Stark:_  robert

_Robb Stark:_  that’s not my name

_Robb Stark:_  what do you want?

_Sansa Stark_ : why do you think i want something?

_Sansa Stark_ : cant i just want some quality time with my brother?

_Robb Stark_ : why cant i believe that?

_Robb Stark:_  maybe our shared history is the reason

_Robb Stark:_  just tell me what you want and ill think about it

_Sansa Stark:_  i need you on my side on this war with theon

_Sansa Stark:_ i already have jon so that leaves him with only gendry

_Robb Stark:_ can’t

_Sansa Stark:_ why not?????

_Robb Stark:_ theon already asked me to be on his team

_Sansa Stark_ : aND YOU SAID YES?

_Robb Stark:_  well yeah

_Sansa Stark:_ why?

_Robb Stark_ : cause hes my best friend and i love him?

_Sansa Stark:_  i’m your sister!

_Robb Stark:_ and?

_Sansa Stark:_  your own flesh and blood!

_Robb Stark:_  well my own flesh and blood failed to ask me first!

_Sansa Stark_ : bitch

* * *

_Robb Stark_ to  _Theon Greyjoy:_  is there an hr to this building so i can complain about mrs mordane?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  omg go to sleep

* * *

_Theon Greyjoy_ to  _Gendry Waters:_  gendry

_Gendry Waters:_  no

_Theon Greyjoy:_  you dont even know what i was going to say!

_Gendry Waters:_ you’re going to ask me to be on your team in this feud with sansa

_Theon Greyjoy:_ well shit

_Gendry Waters:_  my answer is no

_Theon Greyjoy:_  are you on sansa’s side?

_Gendry Waters:_ nah i told her no too

_Theon Greyjoy:_ waht?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  why?

_Gendry Waters:_  im neutral in this war

_Gendry Waters:_  gendry waters is switzerland

* * *

_Sansa Stark left this group._

_Theon Greyjoy left this group._

_Gendry Waters to days until rent: 3:_  oh shit

_Jon Snow left this group._

_Robb Stark left this group._

* * *

_Sansa Stark_  to  _Gendry Waters:_  gendry

_Sansa Stark:_  if you enter my team in secret and act as my spy

_Gendry Waters:_ i won’t

_Sansa Stark:_ let me finish

_Gendry Waters:_ there’s nothing you can say that will make me be on your team

_Sansa Stark:_  jon and i will put in a good word for you with arya

_Gendry Waters_ : …

_Gendry Waters:_ keep talking

* * *

_Sansa Stark_ to  _Theon Greyjoy:_  WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MAKE UP?

_Theon Greyjoy:_ i dont know what you are talking about

_Sansa Stark_ : 2K WORTH OF MAKE UP GONE IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE

_Sansa Stark:_  AND YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT IT?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  wow 2k worth of make up?

_Theon Greyjoy:_ have you ever thought about seeing a therapist for your problem?

_Sansa Stark:_ you dont wanna go there, theon balon greyjoy

_Theon Greyjoy:_  that’s not my middle name

_Sansa Stark:_ you have until tomorrow to give me back my make up

_Sansa Stark:_ or you will regret the day that you were born

_Theon Greyjoy:_  joke’s on you

_Theon Greyjoy:_ i already regret it

* * *

_Jon Snow_ to  _Sansa Stark_ : hey baby

_Jon Snow_ : wanna watch a movie today?

_Jon Snow:_ incredibles 2 seems nice

_Sansa Stark:_  i don’t wanna go outside anymore

_Jon Snow:_  why not?

_Sansa Stark:_ when i went to work today, everyone asked me if i was sick or tired

_Sansa Stark:_  theon is mean

_Jon Snow:_ i know baby

_Jon Snow:_ we’re going to make him regret it

_Sansa Stark:_ we will

* * *

_Robb Stark_ to _Theon Greyjoy_ : where the hell are you? your stuff is all gone

_Theon Greyjoy:_ asha agreed to house me for a few days

_Theon Greyjoy:_  im scared of sansa’s next move

_Robb Stark:_ but i miss you :(

_Theon Greyjoy_ : you will survive without me while i plan my next attack

_Robb Stark:_  i hate you

_Robb Stark:_ why cant we just stop this?

_Robb Stark:_ its ridiculous

_Theon Greyjoy:_  its called honor, robert

_Robb Stark:_  that’s not my name

_Theon Greyjoy:_ sansa needs to know that our apartment is a BOYS apartment

_Theon Greyjoy:_ she can’t just change it to fit her needs

_Robb Stark_ : i like living with her

_Robb Stark:_ our fridge has actual food for once

_Robb Stark:_  everything is clean and smells so nice

_Robb Stark:_  we havent spent any days without water or light because she reminds everyone to pay the bills

_Theon Greyjoy:_  it doesnt matter

_Theon Greyjoy:_  snow shouldnt have invited her to live with us

_Robb Stark:_ she was getting evicted!

_Theon Greyjoy_ : SHE HAS A TRUST FUND

_Robb Stark_ : WHICH SHE CAN’T TOUCH BEFORE SHE IS 25

* * *

_Margaery Tyrell_ to _Sansa Stark_ : ive got the paint

_Sansa Stark_ : nice

_Sansa Stark:_  how much do i owe you?

_Margaery Tyrell_ **:**  nothing

_Margaery Tyrell:_ ruining theon greyjoy’s favorite thing is priceless

* * *

_Theon Greyjoy_ to  _Sansa Stark_ : what did you to my car?

_Sansa Stark:_  i don’t know what you’re talking about

_Sansa Stark:_  i thought pink would be very appropriate

_Sansa Stark:_  and hello kitty ears

_Sansa Stark:_ don’t you agree?

_Theon Greyjoy:_ waht the fuck

_Theon Greyjoy:_  why?

_Sansa Stark_ : this is war

_Theon Greyjoy:_  you dont scare me sansa stark

_Theon Greyjoy:_  i’ve worked in retail for three years

_Theon Greyjoy_ : i fear nothing

* * *

_Theon Greyjoy_  to  _Jon Snow:_ i need safe passage to the apartment

_Jon Snow:_ why do you think i can give that you?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  ill pay you

_Jon Snow:_ you’re as broke as i am

_Theon Greyjoy_ : cmon snow

_Theon Greyjoy_ : your little girlfriend already ruined my car

_Theon Greyjoy_ : just let me come home and have one day of peace

_Jon Snow:_  ugh

_Jon Snow:_ fine

_Jon Snow:_ sansa is working the night shift today

_Theon Greyjoy:_ thanks

_Theon Greyjoy:_  i owe you one

_Jon Snow:_ no worries

_Theon Greyjoy:_ quick question

_Theon Greyjoy:_ gendry is a spy against me for sansa, right?

_Jon Snow:_ oh yeah definitely

* * *

_Robb Stark_ to  _Theon Greyjoy_ : hey

_Theon Greyjoy_ : hey

_Robb Stark:_  what are you doing?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  nothing much

_Theon Greyjoy:_  in a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your sister’s hate for mustard yellow?

_Robb Stark:_  ten. why?

_Theon Greyjoy_ : just curious

_Robb Stark_ : what are you doing?

_Theon Greyjoy:_  you will find out

* * *

_Jon Snow_  to  _Sansa Stark_ : dont come home

_Sansa Stark_ : why?

_Sansa Stark:_ what happened?

_Jon Snow:_  i trusted theon

_Sansa Stark_ : jon we talked about this

_Sansa Stark_ : dont trust the enemy!

_Sansa Stark:_  now go out there and do a counter attack

_Sansa Stark_ : sex tonight depends on what you did

_Jon Snow:_ now i got a motivation

* * *

_Jon Snow_  to _Robb Stark:_  im sorry

_Jon Snow:_  like really sorry

_Jon Snow:_  please forgive me

_Robb Stark:_ i thought your mother taught you how to knock

_Jon Snow:_ how was i supposed to know that you two would be having sex?!

_Robb Stark:_  theon is not exactly the most quiet person

_Jon Snow:_ i thought he was masturbating

_Robb Stark_ : did you delete the picture?

_Jon Snow:_  hell yeah

_Robb Stark_ : good

_Jon Snow:_ so…

_Jon Snow:_  how long has this been going on?

_Robb Stark:_  little over two months

_Jon Snow:_  why didn’t you tell me?

_Robb Stark:_ it’s pretty new

_Robb Stark:_  plus theon is trying to find ways to tell his family

_Jon Snow:_  difficult huh?

_Robb Stark:_  yeah

_Robb Stark:_  i hope this is a way to end this stupid fight

_Jon Snow:_  i kind of had fun with it

_Jon Snow:_  except tonight

_Jon Snow:_  tonight was a nightmare

* * *

_Sansa Stark_  to  _Theon Greyjoy:_  roses are red. violets aren’t blue. robb is a top and the bottom is you.

_Theon Greyjoy:_  how much thinking did you put into this?

_Sansa Stark:_  more than i am proud of

* * *

_Gendry Waters added Sansa Stark to this group._

_Gendry Waters added Robb Stark to this group.  
_

_Gendry Waters added Jon Snow to this group.  
_

_Gendry Waters added Theon Greyjoy to this group._

* * *

_Arya Stark_ to  _Gendry Waters:_ hey i heard you’re the fifth wheel in the apartment

_Gendry Waters:_  yeah :/

_Arya Stark_ : wanna fix that?


End file.
